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Renaissance Joy Ramblings

How do you know when you have really recovered from the breakup of a relationship?

You know that a relationship is really over for you when you can feel true sympathy for the new spouse of your discarded former partner.

Don't marry a rich man. Become rich and choose who you marry if you want to marry.

Marriage used to be an economic union. The first prize essay in my high school annual, 40 years ago asked the question if an education is really important for the "weaker sex". It asks "can a learning higher level math help a woman run her home and children more effectively? " We , as women were expected to get married, have family and spend the rest of our lives depending on a man. Until recently, parents main goal upon having a daughter is how to marry her off to the right man so she can be taken care of for the rest of her life. In the USA, over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Many stay together because the wife can't afford to leave the marriage and support her children. That means that odds on " happily ever after" are less than 50/50. Not good odds for planning a lifetime. Fortunately, women now have the opportunity to have their own career amass their own wealth and own their own property. Think about it. It is less than one hundred years that women could own their own property. It is less than 30 years that all professions are open to women.

If you get the education, build the business, or get the technical skills to make a great living, then you have a choice. You won't have to depend on anyone else. Then you can choose, marry rich, marry a poor guy that you love or don't marry at all. The more financially independent you are, the more choices you have. Also, consider the power dynamics if you marry someone who is rich. You have to ask for the money. Even if you are a wonderful stay at home mom, let's face it, child care is not considered a high status, high paying career. You still have to ask for the money.

So, don't marry rich. BE rich! Get an education. Not any education, but an education that will put you in demand for a high paying job. Then you have choices. Stay home if you want but stay current in your education. Husbands come, husbands become ill, husbands die. It's not a pretty prospect but it's a reality. No matter how much in love you are, you could become the sole breadwinner. Be prepared.
Have choices. Maintain your power as a woman.